Leland Conference Cinnamon Rolls--recipe revealed to the deserving

'Twas an early freshly snowed Sunday morning when my head peeked through the only unlocked window in the Brown household that after hearing someone stirring I whispered with real intent, "Lllleeessssslie." A sleepy-headed Bryan peaked around the counter to discover nothing other than my exposed head at the ground level window and jumped back as quick as you might expect a baby kangaroo that has just been dumped from its pouch (as to say not that fast, really).

After allowing me to enter the proper way, and scolding me harshly on my tone of voice while whispering in sacred space, we brainstormed on how we were going to produce the highly-expected sweet rolls on time without the ingredients handy or the recipe unknown. How does a Leland get into this predicament!? It's one thing to be without Lehi Roller Mill's Turkey brand flour (needing 25lbs of it by the way) but an entire other issue to not have THE LELAND SWEET ROLL RECIPE MEMORIZED & TATTOOED ON OUR INNER THIGH (the most secretest of places for a Bluth but I give permission for the Browns to pick another location).

Upon returning at 2am from a long exhausting weekend of therapy workshopping, we were too tender-hearted to wake the sleeping angel (who by the way has long-since given up the role of conference roll making and passed it on to Leigh...who by the way was also not feeling well and purposefully sleeping in). So as you can see we were up a cr'ick without a dough hook paddle. But alas! Mike emerged to not only locate the perfectly bagged flour and cinnamon containers, but had also stirred Leslie awake just enough for Bryan to sneak in the room disguised as the butterfly in her dream (didn't you know she dreams of butterflies?) to pull the ingredients from her lips as Ursula did from Ariel.

Was it all a terrible trick? Were they in the right order? Would it be a poisonous combination? Or worst yet, would everyone laugh at our attempt, throw cinnamon sugar in our face and make us gag on the dough!? The only way to know, was to try.

Here was the faint whisperings (which were of legit whispering caliber according to the Queen B) of a woman that doesn't measure anything:

2 Tablespoons of yeast
4 no! 7 cups of warm water (how warm is warm, mom!?)
1 cup sugar

.....

1 cup potato flakes OR (not and) instant dry milk
1 cube, 1/2 cup, melted-ish (slighty chunky, not too hot...that was from me) butter


2 Tb salt
2 eggs

.............. {snoring commenced...........

I would add:
1 and a bit bag of turkey flour(thanks mike!) OR 14-18 cups of unbleached all purpose flour.
(I also coulda' sworn she's used dough enhancer in the past...but don't trust me! I'm just an apprentice!)

This batch was HUUUGE. Which needed:

2melted cubes spread on the flattened, perfectly rectangulared dough.
Sprinkled with gobs and gobs of cin-sugar.

Also, please add hand-shelled, hand-crushed walnuts by the man of the hour: Uncle Mike.

Bake at 350 for as long as you want depending on how thickly flossed and how closely placed,  because no one (not even us) likes doughy rolls.

Brush on frosting: powdered sugar, butter, tiny amount of milk (or better yet cream!) and don't forget the almond flavoring! Or else.....[cutting throat sound]!







Is anyone still reading this?






How about now?



Well, I'm not. Because this game is boring. I'm going to bed.

P.S. That was super fun Bieber! I'll meet you at the bottom kitchen window in exactly six-months, got it?! We got this thing doooowwwwn. yeah.
double yeah.

triple yeah.

good night- but I'm not really going to bed. It's FRIDAY!?
Hello!? That would be like not gorging like a pig on cinnamon rolls on conference Sunday!
I'm going to watch Lark Rise to Candleford. ptttthhhhh.